When a relative or loved one moves into a nursing home, it's important for you and other family members and friends to visit as often as possible. Your visits can help your loved one settle into their new home and avoid feelings of loneliness. Sometimes people have questions about what the rules are when they visit a nursing home. A nursing home is the resident's home but also a medical facility, so it's not quite the same as visiting your loved one in their private home, but it's also different from visiting them in a hospital. Check out a few of the things that you should definitely not do when you visit a loved one in a nursing home.

Don't: Bring In Items without Clearing Them with the Nurse

You're going to visit your relative and you want to bring them a little something to brighten their day. So on the way to the nursing home, you stop and pick up their favorite snack, a bottle of perfume, or a fun board game. What could be wrong with that?

It's a good thought, but it's important to check with the charge nurse before you bring in items like this for your loved one. Some facilities ban outside foods and toiletries because of the possibility that a resident could have an allergic reaction or accidentally ingest something harmful to them. The small pieces from a board game or puzzle could pose a choking hazard to a confused or disoriented patient. Your own relative might be on a medically-prescribed diet that disallows certain snacks or drinks.

Even if the nursing home does allow these items, chances are that the staff will want to know that you're bringing your relative. They may want to hold items at the nurse's station or otherwise secure them from other patients.

Don't: Try to Tip the Staff

It's unethical for the nurses, aides, and other staff members who care for your loved one to accept tips or individual gifts from patients and their visitors. Accepting a tip or gift could be seen as an incentive for the staff member to show favoritism to a particular patient. Even though you mean well, offering a tip or gift puts the staff member in an awkward situation; they can't accept it, but they probably don't want to offend you, either. Just avoid making the offer.

There are plenty of ways for you to show appreciation to helpful staff members, however. A written compliment submitted to the director of nursing praising a helpful aide or nurse could lead to a raise or special recognition for that staff member. A heartfelt "thank you" letter can let the staff members who take care of your loved one know that you appreciate their hard work. Some nursing homes allow staff members to accept a group treat, like a plate of Christmas cookies for the nurse's station to share. And don't underestimate the power of a simple "thank you" in the moment.

Don't: Bring In Unruly Children or Pets

Each nursing home has their own policies on whether or not children and pets are allowed. Many do allow and even encourage these visits. But it's important to remember that your loved one isn't the only patient, and if you decide to bring the grandkids or the family dog in for a visit, you need to make sure that they will behave in a way that won't disrupt other patients.

When bringing children to visit a nursing home, make sure that they're well rested and fed; kids who are hungry or sleepy are more likely to be cranky. Prepare your child for things that they might see at a nursing home, like wheelchairs, medical machines, and confused or disoriented patients. If your child is likely to be upset or disturbed, you may want to reconsider bringing them. If you want to bring pets to a nursing home, make sure that they're obedient and well trained, and bring a leash, cage, or other restraint to ensure that they stay with you.

With a little care and planning, visiting a nursing home can be a good experience for you and your loved one. If you have any questions about your visit, contact the nursing director or administrator prior to your visit. For more information, talk to a center like Regina Nursing Center.

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